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My baby has a Turkish father, will he have any rights if it is born in the UK?

by Alison Houghton / Posted 26/06/2009 / Updated 22/11/2009

Sorry if this has been asked before, I couldn´t find the info. I am pregnant and my baby´s father is a Turkish man who I met in Turkey. He has never been to this country and he is doubtful of getting a visitor´s visa but claims that he wants the baby and me and would like us to live in Turkey with him and eventually for us to marry. I don´t trust him fully and I am wondering what his legal position is regarding the baby if I have it here in the UK and we are unmarried? Do I put him on the birth certificate or not? Can he claim that the baby should come to Turkey and force that? thanks in advance for any advice.

Responses

From Norma Withers / Posted: 01/07/2009
Alison, sorry to hear you´re having to worry about this when you should be enjoying your pregnancy. Where a child is involved, the first rule is to listen to your instinct - if you don´t feel you can trust him, you have to act as though he can´t be trusted. You are in the UK and your baby will be born in the UK, and you are not married to this man. So you are safe at the moment. You don´t have to put him on the birth certificate if you don´t want to. If you do, he will automatically have certain rights - parental responsibility - that he´d have to apply to the courts for otherwise. He can´t make you go to Turkey, but if you do go you may not be able to protect your baby and bring it home with you. I´mnot saying this to frighten you - I know from experience that even though you would die for your child, that doesn´t mean you´d be able to protect that child. He could use the law or he could act illegally to keep your baby. Why take the risk? You might feel guilty if you keep the child from him, you might want to believe that all will be well, but you must think very hard about this. The risk is so great - read the forum. I know that there are fathers who will read this and feel immense pain - it will feel like an attack on them. It´s not. I lost one child for 19 and the other is still not home - I have to advise a mother to be very careful and think many times more than twice. Take care.
From Alison / Posted: 04/07/2009
Norma thank you very much for you reply and I really feel for you and your situation with your children. That is truly heartbreaking and awful.
I will not put my partner on the birth certificate and will think very carefully about whether or not we visit Turkey. If we do we will not go alone and will not visit his family. I´m feeling now that it´s unlikely that the relationship will work between me and the dad as he has told me too many lies. I hope that you find your child again very soon and thanks again for your wisdom. Alison x
From julie / Posted: 04/11/2009
my advice is dont go to turkey at all if he wants to see the child let him come here to see the baby ive found the turkish men are good liars sorry if that sounds awful but speak from experience . keep your child in your name . good luck read up other peoples stories on here it will keep you strong
From Ali / Posted: 22/11/2009
Alison, wise choice, and tell as many women your story as possible, we need to start getting wise as women again it is outrageous that women are losing their children to men, who have violent/ drug abuse, history etc, and there seems to be nothing we can do about it, time to turn things around, knowledge is power, if I new yesterday what I know today, I would be in a very different situation. Good Luck with everything

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