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This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

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by Trapped / Posted 28/05/2010 / Updated 11/05/2015

Hi
I am mum to a little girl, 4 years old. I am from Ireland but share custody of her with her Swedish father. We began legal proceedings for almost 10 months ago a year after we separated.
I want to leave Sweden as soon as possible but my ex keeps managing to delay the final hearing again and again.
I would love to hear of anyone who has managed to get a child of Swedish (and other) nationality out of the country as the rules were are definitely all for "equality" for each parent and do NOT set the child´s best interests first as they claim.
I would really like to hear from anyone who knows of a child who lives in one country with one parent but who has access to the other parent in another country as I am trying to work out a custody plan for my daughter for when she starts school (hopefully outside of Sweden) in September. Her acess to her father would be I have suggested every 3rd weekend, by flight (1.5-2hrs away). Our daughter is 4 and currently is allowed by the courts to see her father only every 2nd weekend.
All suggestions welcome.
Thank you
Trapped

Responses

From Fiona / Posted: 10/06/2010
Hi,
I´m also trapped in Sweden and have been through 3 custody battles - the only way to leave Sweden with your child without the father´s consent. Relocation orders do not exist in Sweden. I´d be happy to share my experience with you if that can help in any way. From what I´ve read Sweden is one of the hardest countries to get sole custody.
Hope you get in touch,
Fiona
From Fiona / Posted: 05/07/2010
I´ve tried to reply to you a few times but for some reason it hasn´t gone through. I am also in Sweden and have gone through the custody battle 3 times. The only way to be allowed to leave is with sole custody, relocation orders do not exist in Sweden. Please get in touch, I´m sure I have some helpful advice. It´s a horrible situation to be in, the more support the better.
Fiona
From Lesley / Posted: 18/01/2011
Hi
I left Sweden initially just on holiday but then he filed for divorce while I was away so i stayed in the UK and didn´t go back to Sweden. It went to court in Sweden and I risked being forced back but I had a lot of evidence of abuse and so on. I did have to agree to A LOT of visitation under circumstances Im really not happy with - because I am very concerned he won´t return our child. The Swedish system is very very tough to deal with, the authorities there ignored all sorts from the authorities here. Good luck.
From Anon / Posted: 26/01/2011
With all due respect, why should you feel that it is your right to choose which country your child lives in? You have shared custody and her Father is as much a part of her life as you. I wish more Mothers would think of the implications of having a child with someone from a ´foreign´ country BEFORE getting pregnant. The Father deserves to be in her life as much as you do.
It is only a shame that the UK legal system does not operate with the same boundaries.
From Rebecca / Posted: 28/01/2011
Hi, I really have sympathy for your situation of being trapped in a country you do not wish to be in, that happened to me too. However, I really do not think it is a good idea for a 4 or 5 year old child to have to fly from Ireland to Sweden on a regular basis to have contact - it´s just too much for them. Who would be accompanying your child though the airport and on the plane? Although some airlines do provide chaperones, it is still very daunting for a young child to be accompanied by a stranger. Is there any chance you can start a new life for yourself in Sweden with the help of some support groups etc? It would be far less stressful for your daughter to have weekend access with her father in the same country. My son has to visit Australia once a year to see his father and fortunately he has family to accompany him, but the fact that he does not have a close and ongoing relationship with his father has affected him, and ideally we should all be in the same country.

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