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This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

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Possible divorce. Need to protect my daughter

by Annon / Posted 03/08/2010 / Updated 30/06/2014

Hi. My wife is russian. We have a 2 year old daughter. Relationship is rocky. She has threatened in the past to go russia for good. Daughter is on my wifes passport. She goes to russia for 2 months evey year. This year she has taken all ´her´ money as she thinks interest is better there. She also wants to buy property. This makes me very nervous. She does not pay household bills and has kept her wages in her account. When I said the money she is taking is ours, she says it is her account and she is taking it. Acusses me of ´spendidg´ MY money. Yes... on the bills etc. How do I get things into place before I try for divorce. I would not want her to just dissapear when I tell her of my intentions. She may not come back this time.... OMG I dont know. What steps shall I take now? Any help appreciated. Thanks.


From Seraphic / Posted: 15/11/2010
dear Annon,
under no circumstanced allow your wife to return to russia with your child unless you have in place a mirror court order from the Russian courts that in the event of your wife not returning to UK with your child you will be in a position to demand the return of your child.
You must be aware that Russia is not a signatory to the Hague Convention and has no reciprocal agreement with the UK and they do not recognise dual nationality, your situation could be very difficult if the worst was to happen to you and i dont need to elaborate further.
My advice to you is to go to your local courts and apply for a prohibited steps order - ex parte as the evidence suggests that she is preparing to abscond with your child. Once this is in place you can argue the rest with your wife or the courts, but at least you will still have your child in her habitual residence and safe in the UK.
Dont think for one minute that your wife can be trusted, if she has no intention of abducting your child then the court order should not bother her... too much.
you must also get the court to order that she hand over her passport until you are certain of a mirror order from the Russian authorities.
ultimately, you will have to consult a solicitor but his/her costs will be nothing compared to what it would cost if your child is abducted to/unlawfully retained in Russia.
Some might say that i am scare mongering, but i can assure you that since the UK court gave my Russian ex-wife to be, permission (against my wishes),almost a year ago,to return there for a two week holiday with my two year old son i have not heard or spoken to either of them since.
I just dont want you to go through the hell i am now living in also.

Peace be with you.
From annon / Posted: 16/11/2010
Hi Annon

From what you describe it seems you are right to be worried. The circumstances you all point to one thing ... your daughter being prepared to be taken away.

Talk to reunite if you wish to take the legal route.

It appears that your daughter´s habitual residence is the UK (I´m assuming this is where you and your family have resided most of the time). This means should your wife take your daughter to Russia you could get a court order to have her returned to her normal place of residence i.e. where she spent most of her life and where she has the greatest number of ´ties´.

I am no lawyer, my knowledge is only from reading cases on here and some reading around the subject. So talk to Reunite who should be able to point you in the right direction.

Hopefully others with more personal experience of the process and the Haige Convention will be able to tell you more.


Annon too.
From Phil / Posted: 22/11/2010
Believe what Seaphic has said entirely.
I have had to endure over three years of hell as my wife took my daughter to Spain and then divorced me from there .
Two and a half years later I managed to see my daughter but only after enduring extensive and expensive legal formalities.
The only problem with your wife staying here is that she will try to turn your child against you (she will do that in her own country as well ) so you must ALWAYS be good with your child so that the chiold knows that you are true to them.
believe me no matter how hard things are between you (& your wife) right now they will be far worse once she is in her own country if my own experience is to be replicated.
Try to be reasonable with your wife but do nopt allow yourself to be manipulated like I was.
Good luck

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