Reunite International
Reunite International Homepage

Parents Forum




Submit a new topic for discussion

Unfortunately there was an error processing your Topic
Please fill in the following numbers into the provided box.
Thank you for creating a new topic for discussion. Your topic will appear on the website shortly.

This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

reunite reserve the exclusive right to refuse to publish any submissions at their discretion. Submission of comments does NOT in any way guarantee publication.

Please note all posts are checked by reunite staff before appearing here. Anything considered offensive, defamatory or that may be a contempt of court will NOT be posted.

The views placed on the Forum are independent and are not necessarily the views of reunite.

Holiday to Turkey

by Samantha / Posted 15/07/2008 / Updated 31/10/2017

Hi, I would be very grateful for any advice anyone can give me please. My ex partner is Turkish and wants to take our 2yr old daughter on a holiday to Turkey to see his family. I am worried that once he is there with his family they may try and persuade him to stay there with her (when we were together they were keen for us to move to Turkey from UK). My ex tells me not to worry and that he doesnīt want to live in Turkey, but I am still concerned. Should I let her go with him?

Responses

From Tilly / Posted: 16/07/2008
Hi Samantha
Definitely don´t let her go. Trust your instincts! And dont let him force you to let her go either, you should really see a solicitor if he tries to do that. Why dont you just tell him to get his family to come here for now and call his bluff!
From Vicky / Posted: 03/08/2008
Hi Sam
I am in a very similar situation. My daughter is 2 and my ex is taking her on holiday to Turkey this week. Would be good to be in contact.
From Lord Protecior / Posted: 04/08/2008
Getting his family to come here for some time may not be possible due to financial or other reasons so that may not work.
However I do think Tilly is VERY RIGHT. Too many people do not learn to trust their instincts and pay a terrible price for that. If you think something is amiss, donīt let this trip go ahead.
I would rather suffer some temporary embarassment than lose my child for many years. The decision is down to you but do not sit quietly waiting for events to unfold. You must act in order that you have a good amount of control over the situation and thus just do not react to it. Find out all the information you can on Turkeyīs family laws, speak to the people at Reunite and see a solicitor. You will not like some of what you find out but you will be far better prepared for a battle when it comes. That way, you stand a greater chance to win or at least create the situation where your boyfriend will have to pay such a high price for victory that he will be dissuaded from fighting you or trying to take your daughter to Turkey. Until any non HC country actually becomes a signatory nation, I would advice anyone to seriously and deeply think through the possibility of what may happen if they took or sent their child there. Sorry if I sound prejudiced against non HC countries but it is because left behind parents or abducted children are not considered properly in those countries. I wish you well.
From Sara / Posted: 06/08/2008
Sam, I was married to Turkish man too and wondered if you were aware that in Turkish culture when a couple splits then the man and his family get custody of the children and the woman always goes her own way, that is unless the man gives the children to his ex wife which isnt often seen. Im telling you this so you can be more aware of your ex husbands culture and how they think.

I would hate to see you post here that you let your daughter go with her Baba and now he wont let her come back. She is very young please think carefully about this and take care of you both.

Sara.
From vicky / Posted: 08/08/2008
Turkey is a HC country and the laws are becoming more in favour of the mother. I hae phoned the Turkish embassy and prevented my ex from getting Turkish nationality for my daughter.
From shereen / Posted: 11/08/2008
Dear Samantha and Vicky- Please do not let your children go - Vicky I assume your daughter is already on holiday. My father is Egyptian and claimed my sister and I were going on hol- we spent 9 years trying to get out and we were 18 and 16 when we first landed in egypt. Culture and religion is a complex topic but I def would say NO WAY
From Fiona / Posted: 13/08/2008
Hi all, im in a similar situation. I refused to let my child go. Vicky what does it mean if your ex gets Turkish Nationality for your daughter? how does that effect things?
From Kevin / Posted: 27/08/2008
Turkey is signatory to the Hague convention so you can get a return if your child is abducted, this happened to me 3 1/2 years ago, it takes between 12-18 months to get a return. My son now goes on holiday to Turkey but initially I insisted on a financial bond being lodged with my solicitor towards legal costs incase he wasnīt returned. If you need any other advice please email me at any time.
From JA / Posted: 20/10/2008
Please take care. Just this month in NZ a toddler was taken back to Turkey by his mother and Turkey HAS REFUSED TO ACKNOWLEDGE NZ IS SIGNATORY TO THE HAGUE CONVENTION, given the woman a divorce and full custody of the child.

If this is happening with NZ, it could happen with any country.
From jeanie / Posted: 25/10/2008
my daughter has a turkish boyfriend and has just had a beautiful baby boy. she did not put the fathers name on the birth certificate but has given the baby his fathers name. they were due to get married but my daughter has told him and his family that she will not get married until her boyfriend comes to england first for a holiday as she lived with him before in turkey and knows that she couldn´t do this again not now that she has the baby. am i right in believing that the baby cannot be registered as a turkish citizen by the family at the moment. and if she marries him can the father then register him as turkish then without her knowing. i ask this as she has just come back after taking the baby to see his father and she was totally overpowered by the family, shouting over her all the time and telling the father to speak turkish. in one week the baby had stopped responding to her voice. not surprizing when there were 20 people in the house every day, my daughters voice got lost, also they took the baby from his bed at 5 am to chant prayers in his ear while my daughter had go up to prepare a bottle. As a grand mother to this beautiful little boy i have great concerns.
From norma / Posted: 19/11/2008
Samantha & Jeanie
Trust your instincts. If you feel at all worried, you need to take every care to keep your children or your grandchildren safe. Peopleīs questions on this forum often indicate that others have tried to reassure them by saying things such as: He canīt take the baby out of the UK, because the baby is British. He canīt do anything because his name isnīt on the birth certificate. He canīt get the baby a (Turkish) passport. These people mean well but they donīt know the situation. If the other parent wants to īgetī the child, there are lots of ways to do it. Assume the worst - get advice and more advice. Youīd die to save your child, so you think you CAN save them - itīs not that easy. Iīve had twenty years of wishing Iīd listened.
From zero / Posted: 09/12/2008
becouse you lot decent people has to suffer,why is it god giving right to her and her family to see their grabddougter everday of the week but so for his family.where is the fairness in there,if he wont come back he will pay the price for it,but i dont think anyone will put themself and their little child such a drama just for sake of it.if you lot realy want to give this confuseed and feared mother a helping hand,all she can do is have a parenting plan beetween themself try make their trust stronger between each other so on...just remember if one of them try to be hostel the other will respond in some form and that will get them nowhere or make it worse aspecilay for the little kid..point here is they just have to trust each other on this issue and it should all have to be about the kid not her mother r father.it is in kid interest she get to know both her rooths.whoever making comment on this topic pls be more carefull where you leading the person in need of help,non of you sound like pro so list you can do is show the right person who can help.by the way turkish family law is same is more less same is you own,it is not in fawore of the father,its focuced on child best interest.and i dont know any counrty has a law says it is child interest grow witout her mum.the only reason turkish gov to refuse to return of the child that if there is a life treating danger in that county..like if there is war in that country,,so before making any nonsence comment learn some first.
From holly / Posted: 17/12/2008
just wondering if any one knows what goes on when having a baby in turkey my fiancee is turkish and if it happens to be a boy i dont want him to have turkish citizen as he will then have to do the army
will my baby automatically be giving one if i chose to have (s)he here??
thankyou
From MP / Posted: 23/12/2008
No, No, don´t let him take your child. The family probably wants him in Turkey and you won´t be able to get him back. This happened to me, my x listened to his family and took my children, I didn´t see them for 13years. Don´t do it.
From magdalena / Posted: 28/03/2009
To Kevin
Your advice is invaluable. Can you please let me know if there is anything else I should consider apart from lodging financial bond.I´d be grateful for your advice.
From shereen / Posted: 29/03/2009
Dear Zero,

You have no right to judge the advice given by us .......of course I would like to see both parents parent their children but that is in an ideal world , one in which we do not live in.

I am simply saying here that every parent should trust their instincts but I understand what you are saying and it is sad that we cant all be that optimistic. We learn from others mistakes- It prevents heartache.

SAM- UPDATESSSSSSSS???????????????? Thinkng ofu
From Zoe / Posted: 07/04/2009
hello,
Before anything have you a court order for residence here in the UK for your daughter?
Also make sure you have some safeguards in place. But remember you know your daughter and trust your instincts.
Best of luck!
From jojo / Posted: 15/06/2009
hi, does anyone know how to get a turkish passport for a uk child, born to a turkish father.. she has a turkish id card
From Cherish / Posted: 22/10/2009
Hi jojo, If the child has a turkish id card you should be able to get a turkish passport form the child born in the UK from the Turkish embassy/consulate in Knightsbridge, London. Think it is something like Ruthland Square, London
From Lord Protector / Posted: 27/11/2009
Dear Zero,

No one on this thread has tried to make Sam prevent her daughter from seeing her Turkish relatives.
The information she has about the situation is worrying enough to warn her and that is why she is trying to find out what some of us think. You, from what I have read from your post, seem only to look at the issue from the standpoint of an angry spoilt child of a man who has not been able to get his way.
Of course Sam is not sure of what course of action to take at the moment and she is scared. What parent would not be if they were responsible and trying to think of all factors in the issue???
Sam´s information is enough to set alarm bells ringing and I commend her for it.
The best thing she can do now in order for both parents to have access to their daughter is to ensure that her ex partner cannot suddenly pull a sneak move and abduct their little girl. That way, they both maintain contact.
If the guy doe not like it, tough. Life´s like that. You think Sam will have it easy??? She is going to be quite stressed out about this for a long time. Use your head, mate and think a little more deeply before posting what is just your spleen-venting!
Now before you retort, let tell you a couple of things that make me react so strongly to your post.

I´m a dad to two wonderful young sons who stand in danger of abduction by their mother to Japan (a seriously non-Hague country that ranks pretty much as the number one haven for parental abductors). The information that set my alarm bells ringing was very similar to Sam´s. I acted quickly enough (thanks to Reunite´s very accurate information) and thwarted this. I´m about to begin divorce proceedings and follow that with putting up the toughest fight of my life to keep my precious sons from being taken away from me. The only way I can ensure that my sons have access to beth me and their mother is for me to fight for them to remain here in the UK. I will have no legs to stand on in Japan if they go and she makes good on the veiled threats I heard before and I will lose my sons. This is simply because Japan´s legal and immigration system are all geared at ´saving face´ both for itself and also for the Japanese party. They simply will not return my sons if their mother abducts them or illegally retains them there. They actively help the Japanese abductor and go all out to hinder the non-Japanese parent trying to get their children back.
Anyone on this forum can easily find out information on the net which will support what I have said here and I challenge ANYONE to prove me wrong.

So in closing, I say again to you Zero: think a little more before posting what amounts to temper-inspired ranting instead of constructive information.

Sam, I don´t know the issues between you and your daughter´s dad but I stand by what I said previously along with Tilly and a couple of others that you SHOULD NOT send your daughter to Turkey. At least not yet and certainly not before you have obtained all the legal advice you need. You will be glad you waited and your daughter will thank you too. Besides all the other issues, she is only 2! She needs to be home more than flying around. And home is the UK. Her dad doesen´t like it? Again I say tough! He and his family will have to wait until things are properly sorted and they cannot suddenly pull some ´clever move´ to snatch your child from you.
I wish you the best in the coming battles. It will not be easy but hang in there. Your daughter has no one else to protect her and you will do it perfectly because you are her mum and are not just being a silly and difficult ex girlfriend out to spite some guy. I don´t see that from your posting simply because it is thoughtful and considered even in its brevity.
From lisa / Posted: 13/01/2010
jeanie Unfortunately there a lot of corruption in turkey i am married to Albanian (not for much longer i hope) he have mentioned a Turkish friend who have taken his girlfriend and their son on holyday shortly after gaining live to remain ( in Germany). He bribed some official to register adoption to his mum and dad and tricked her in to signing all the papers. That was some 4 years ago, she cannot proof anything as he have produced death certificate for her son. It is not just an urban myth as now i am in contact with her
From claire / Posted: 17/01/2010
hi im in the same situation what has happened with others in the same cituation ?
From Jay / Posted: 01/04/2010
Hi,

As a mother whoīs daughter was allowed a visit to her Turkish family for 2 weeks resulting in her abduction! I strongly suggest that you follow your gut feeling. The postings here are confusing and everyone has a different opinion. My advise is simple. Think of the child and the child only. If he/she stays with you and doesnīt go the other parent and family members will not see their loved one. If he/she does go and is not sent back then you will suffer in a way that no one should. I have lived it, felt it, and took 2 years of unforgetable pain to eventually be left with no other option than to snatch my daughter back. I speak and have spoken Turkish for over 25 years and yet it made no difference to me conversing with the authorities in Northern Rep Cyprus. They live unto a law of their own. However were my actions the right ones? was snatching her back the correct thing to do? If I had to do it all again? then the answer is yes, because she is my baby my child and without her there was an unfillable void. I have written a book on my experiences that is due to be published later this year. I hop that this will give an insight into child abduction and the affect it has on all parties involved. Sadly however my summary is that no matter how we suffer as a parent the ones that suffer most are the child/children caught in the middle. So please think carefully before taking your next step. I am not here to judge or lay blame but simply from one mother to another please take care. I wish you peace and hope that what ever decision you make that it will be the right one in the interest of your child.......
From jeanie / Posted: 03/06/2010
hi jay thank you for your comment it would break my daughters heart if she lost her little boy what is your book called and when will it be on sale
From Jodie / Posted: 02/10/2010
Hi... Iīm looking for a little advice. My little boy who is 3 months old has a turkish father.. When I discovered I was pregnant I came home to the UK. I want my little boy to have contact with his dad but in this country. How is visa applications affected if the turkish man has a child in this counrty? Please help... Thanks
From Alison / Posted: 15/07/2011
Hi Jodie I asked the same question in another forum and was told that it has no bearing on the Turkish fatherīs visa application at all. And if heīs a seasonal worker at all itīs even more unlikely heīll get a visa unless he has sponsorship, and even then itīs not a given. Some Turkish men in the resorts seem to think that having a baby in the UK will make them more likely to get a visa, but itīs not the case.
From keely / Posted: 06/09/2011
What is the procortions I need to take to insure that my son is not taken to turkey by my Turkish ex. Is there any one I can contact who can help me to stop my ex getting him a duel passport or an Turkish Iīd card.or to stop a suspected abduction. Please help
From Jodie / Posted: 23/09/2011
Hi Im having a baby to my turkish boyfriend. we have been together for years but im trying to decide whether or not to have the baby in turkey or england. I have heard lots of different pros and cons but everyone seems to say something different. Any advice at all would be really appreciated x
From julie / Posted: 08/10/2011
Hi jodie if you have read all you have on here then that should tell you something , have your baby here at least if you have your child here it will have rights best to be safe than sorry i hope all works out well for you x
From Marie / Posted: 11/10/2011
As a mother who had her son abducted by his Turkish father back in 2000 but who had through the Hague Convention & Turkish Courts won for him to come home with me, I would like to highlight that Turkey is part of the convention and that if the worst did come to the worst then with perseverance and going through all possible channels then it is possible to get your child back.

I would definitely suggest that the UK parent apply for residency order and if the child is listed on a foreign passport then to take ownership of the passport however I did both of these things and my ex still took my child. I also agree with going with your gut feeling but I would however like to highlight that fathers do have an important role in their childīs life and I have subsequently allowed my son to see his father in the UK and as he has got older visited Turkey on 2 occasions with his father.

My son is half-Turkish and his father & heritage is very important, I feel when parents split up it should be discussed how both parties have the right to see their child and allow extended families in over countries to see them too. I do believe if it is automatically signalled to the foreign parent that their child will never go abroad to see either them or their family then it will instantly create a feeling of animosity and resentment, 2 feelings which always play a part in abduction.
From Roxanne / Posted: 29/01/2012
I am concerned my turkish ex will abduct my children to turkey. We are still going to court but we signed an agreement to have our passports held by our lawyers and I just found out he just got back from turkey with a wife. I fear he got the children citizenship or something else in turkey. Please let me know who can assist in what to do or contact numbers for who to call to find out if they are infact on his passport or have citizenship.
From worried_mum / Posted: 19/03/2012
Roxanne, unfortunately if the childīs father is turkish they have automatic rights to turkish nationality. There is nothing you could you do stop this. I can only suggest you write to Turkish Embassy in your own country and ask them not to issue a passport. I did this but I donīt know if it worked, I never got a response!
From Anisa / Posted: 03/07/2012
Please do not take your child to Turkey, I had the same feelings, thinking about my baby and wanting him to know his Turkish family. I took my 2 year old to see his father and family in Turkey. I was beaten and abused and my beautiful boy ripped from my arms. I am 1 year into a life without my only son. My ex husband registered my son as a Turkish national without my consent so this is possible. I had no help from the police etc. I have won the Hague convention case and won 2 appeals made by my ex. I am now hopefully at the final stage oft baby´s return but you don´t need to go through my pain. Let the family visit you please do not go.
From Tamara / Posted: 24/04/2013
hi i am just needing some advice by daughter is 4 months old and her father is turkish and i am form the uk do you think its safe for me to take my daughter over to turkey so she can see her father ?
From Kira / Posted: 02/07/2013
Anisa is your partner on the birth certificate ? Did the family be all nice to you till you got there? I am going to turkey in a couple of months to see my grand babys dad with my daughter but I´m seeking legal advice just now to see if We will be safe the babys dad is not on birth certificate
From gansery / Posted: 18/07/2013
Hi can anyone help me snach my daughter back from her dad who abducted her to Turkey.my daughter is now 13yrs old and we both desperately wanted to be together in the UK.her dad wouldnīt allow her to come to the UK until she is 16years old.what should I do?
From Iris / Posted: 08/08/2013
PLEASE! All of your stories are making me feel like I shouldnīt go to Turkey with our baby, but please listen, because our situation is slightly different: American mother, Turkish father...unmarried. Baby was born in U.S. and father is not on birth certificate, but the baby has his last name.We have split up. He is harboring resentment. I love his family and do not wish to keep our baby from them. Am I in any danger if I bring the baby? (Lastly, he does have a copy of the birth certificate...without his name, but...that can be altered. He is highly educated and Adobe Photoshop can do anything..)Your advise would be greatly appreciated.
From Lord Protector / Posted: 19/09/2013
Hello Iris,

Your situation, to me, looks like it will not be hard to have your baby taken from you.
Due to the resentment your ex harbours, I think it safer to not take the baby to Turkey. Hague signatory or not, why risk your babyīs wellbeing for the sake of someone else? I urge caution. Someone elseīs success story does not mean yours will turn out that way. You know this man and what he can do so you make final choice on whether to go to Turkey. Too many alarm bells ring for me and I would certainly not go. At least I would not take the baby. Listen to yourself and learn to trust yourself because you will know the answer even if you currently think you donīt.
I wish you the very best.
From Helena / Posted: 09/10/2013
Hello everybody!
I came to Turkey June 2013 for a 4 weeks holiday with our 3 Children (I have been married to a Turk since 1995) and here I am still fighting a divorce/custody case in Court and waiting for the Hague process to start!! I have the Children but they cannot leave the country as the father managed to put a stop in their passports! This happened after 18 years of marriage! He totally fooled me! This Costs a LOT! The Court so far has given me the custody but as this goes on the father will sooner or later be able to see the Children... my lawyers has told me Hague Convention cases take 8-9 months. So any turk can by applying for divorce/custody when you are here on holiday stop your Child from going back home! Apparently it is very easy. My husband just said that if I return with the Children to our country he will not be able to see them again - and that was enough to put a stop in the childlrenīs passports. Will let you know how this ends.
From sally / Posted: 03/11/2013
Please someone give their opinion if I should let my 3 year old son go to Albania with his dad who is Albanian. We have separated and its not been good. We also have a 1 year old son and I was thinking he would not kidnap our 3 year old because then he would be separated from our 1 year old
From Anthony / Posted: 30/12/2014
Hi Samantha,

I really feel for you right now. My wife took my 3 kids to Bulgaria and I am just about to start the painful process of trying to get them back through The Hague Convention.

My thoughts are with you.
From kris / Posted: 28/01/2015
Could really do with some advice, both me and my ex r British. We had our son In north Cyprus. The plan was to stay there for a year or until he was walking and talking at least. We were refused residancy so when my son reached 5 month old in June I came back to uk to get job and earn some real money. 10 weeks later I find out she had been having an affair with a British Cypriot and was now living with him. She said some awfull stuff like the child wasnīt mine anyway and that she plans to change his name to her partners name, have a Turkish first name and hopefully get him adopted by her partner. I cant go back because the house we shared she moved out of. I dont no were they are now. I skype my son once a month, she refuses to come back to England and is planning on getting married which sets off alarm bells for me. Is there anything I can do regarding contact or custody. My ex is known by social because of her past relationships and has had trouble with the law regarding children and custody which resulted in a jail term for her which must work in my favour
From marie / Posted: 14/02/2015
I have a son who s 5 his father is turkish im english his father is not on his birth certificate does he have any right s to him if i take him there
From Yamile / Posted: 02/12/2015
Hi my own experience Samantha, Donīt let you child go anywhere with out consent by a family lawyer or by court, please donīt trust your fellings only a stamped doc with permission from the law. I donīt want anyone to suffer the damage I suffered, now fighting for the last 4years
From Claire duman / Posted: 28/03/2016
Hi I need help my Turkish husband left me and our son 2 weeks ago. Weīve been married 14 years. He wants to live the life of a single man. Heīs got my sons British passport my sonīs kimlik and our Turkish marriage book. Iīve asked him for them back but he ignores my texts and phone calls. Iīm so worried. My son is disabled. Iīm so upset and need help. Thanks.
From Tali86 / Posted: 17/04/2016
Hi, I was wondering if anyone can help me. I am AU citizen as is my daughter born to turkish man. He is there still. My daughter has his last name on her birth certificate and he also has a copy. What could he do with that or rights would he have if we ever go over there? Thanks Tali.
From Celia4 / Posted: 13/06/2016
My son is English and has a 4 yr old son with his Turkish wife (ex) He visits when he can, as do I and contact is good. He has just asked his ex what she has planned in the event of her early death and she said her sister in Germany is childless. But he naturally would want custody. What rights does he have?
From Kenneth Mcilroy / Posted: 17/09/2017
My wife gave my son to my uncle turkish I now live in England my son does not want to go back to turkey he would rather stay with me in England where do I stand I have a letter stating I can have him
From Fiona / Posted: 31/10/2017
My daughter has just had a baby here in Ireland the father is Turkish... a lot of alarm bells are ringing with regards how he speaks to her how he tries to control her the list is endless to be honest. She has put his name on the birth cert and is now planning to take him over to see the father. This father I might add has offered no financial support nor has he even sent a card. Iīm worried sick that he will keep the baby there. My daughter seems to be brainwashed completely and sheīs keeping things from us. What can we do?

Post a response

Please fill in the following numbers into the provided box.