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This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

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Does my daughters Libyan father have any rights???

by Hayley / Posted 09/06/2011 / Updated 25/07/2011

Hi. I am a single british woman living in the UK. I was in a relationship with a libyan man for a short time and caught pregnant. My daughters father went back to libya without even telling me when i was 2 months pregnant. I had my daughter, and when she was 6 weeks old, i finally found his friends phone number who let him know about our daughters birth...when i finally spoke to him, he was obviously shocked about it cause he actually didnt think i was pregnant-why i dont know. So he is not on my daughters birth certificate.

My daughter is now 3 and 10 months,and he hasnt managed to get a visa over her.
We have kept in contact over the past couple of years but it hasnt been consistant, and i believe him when he says he wants to come over.
I just want some advice.
a) Does he have any rights on our daughter?
b)why is it so difficult for him to come back over here?
c)Can he come over here on compassionate ground to see his daughter?
d)How can we prove to the embassy that the child is his?
e)If he does come over here,should i get his name on my daughters birth certificate?
f)what type of access should i give him to my daughter if he does come here (meaning i will be present at all times) but how should i break the contact in?

Im just really confused... is it normal for it to be so difficult to re enter a country? He has never given me any reason to suspect that he may abduct our daughter,, infact his family know about it and have acted like she doesnt even exist..and have allowed my daughters father to live in the family home but dont speak to him because of what he has done.. im sure most people will understand that having a child out of wedlock in islam is haram.

Sorry to drag on about this,i appreciate all my questions are relevant to this board,but this is the only place where i could get some answers from people who may have experiance with this type of situation.

Responses

From Norma / Posted: 25/07/2011
Dear Hayley
First of all I would advise you to phone the Reunite Advice Line so that you can discuss your situation in detail.

I met the Libyan who would become my husband and the father of my two daughters in 1971 - so I have mmany years of experience to share with you.

One thing that isn´t clear in your post is whether you want to continue your own relationship with your baby´s father. You must think that through.

You mention the possibility of putting his name on the birth certificate, and then ask what type of access you should ´give´ him. Be aware that if his name goes on the birth certificate he has parental responsibility. Then if he does get to UK he can ask the court to give him the access he wants - it´s not for you to ´give´ him access - the court decides. The court can give him access without you being present, whole weekends or weeks, even trips to Libya (although I admit that is less likely just at the moment).

I wish you strength and happiness with your daughter.

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