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This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

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I want to come home

by Anne / Posted 27/07/2012 / Updated 12/04/2013

I have just read one of the topics in the forum and FINALLY feel I am not alone.

We moved to the Caribbean 10 years ago and after separation and divorce over 4 1/2 years ago I have been trying in vain to leave. NONE of us are citizens of the country we live in, we are all of European Nationality and are "guests" of this. I tried to leave the country about 3 years ago and my ex-husband succeeded in an injunction preventing me from taking the children and was awarded interim custody. My ex-husband at that time with the exception of six months had not worked for 9 1/2 years and claimed to be a stay-at-home parent (he wasnt - there were nannies and housekeepers). When he eventually worked, he REFUSED to help pay for the children - not one penny. The Judge in making that order said "working women are not conducive to a happy home" Is he for real???? By May 2011 EVENTUALLY I had successfully appealed, won SOLE custody and care and control. I was in England on vacation when I was sent his appeal papers.

After checking my options (which were none) I returned to the Caribbean with the children against my deepest fears of not being able to come back and fear of being subjected to more court. In January I was made redundant and have not been able to work due to work permit restrictions, my house is in default and I am living off money that my family send me and by selling off our possessions. The house is on the market for sale but my ex says he is filing a caveat preventing its sale.

The appeal changed the order to Joint custody with care and control to me in March.

I filed straight after the redundancy for permission to leave and return to England with the children - six months to the day of filing - just over a week ago I was told that the High Court had NO JURISDICTION to make an order. Im back at square one. I now have to apply AGAIN to the Court of Appeal.

I have been to Reunite; the Foreign Office, the British Embassy in Barbados, the British Consel where I live, Legal Aid in Britain, a renowned Human Rights Lawyer in London and NO-ONE will help, NO-ONE. It is a travesty of justice.

I recall saying to a number of the above, you will only help "when" (read as if)I abduct the children - what rights are those. It gives all the power to the person at the "habitual residence" state and no-one helps those who want to do the right thing and get home legally. It is criminal.

All I want to do is come home. Im exhausted by all of this and the toll that it has taken on the children is devastating.

I believe that the Hague Convention has merits but only when a real bone fide abduction has occured. If they really want to help - they should ensure that there is assistance for those that WANT TO GO HOME so that the number of abductions reduces.

I truly believe that if they pulled their fingers out of wherever they put them and offered mediation and legal services PRIOR to anything happening that would result in less abductions, less fighting, less animosity and more rights for the person who WANTS TO GO HOME.

Sorry for all the capitals but I am SO (!!!) angry at what is happening and I am drained and exhausted and frustrated

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