Reunite International
Reunite International Homepage

Parents Forum




Submit a new topic for discussion

Unfortunately there was an error processing your Topic
Please fill in the following numbers into the provided box.
Thank you for creating a new topic for discussion. Your topic will appear on the website shortly.

This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

reunite reserve the exclusive right to refuse to publish any submissions at their discretion. Submission of comments does NOT in any way guarantee publication.

Please note all posts are checked by reunite staff before appearing here. Anything considered offensive, defamatory or that may be a contempt of court will NOT be posted.

The views placed on the Forum are independent and are not necessarily the views of reunite.

Egyptian Ex and legal action - advise please?

by British_mum / Posted 17/08/2008 / Updated 31/08/2013

My sons father is Egyptian - and I had to run away from him when I was pregnant as he was violent towards me and threatened to kill me and abduct my son. Iīve made every attempt to protect my son - I have a top solicitor who went to court and obtained a residence order and prohibited steps order protecting ds - I also wrote a statement to the foreign office - who sent it to the British embassy in Egypt - and they put a ban on my ex coming into the country (although this was for 6 months and then he would be able to apply for a visa again)
Anyway - yesterday I received a letter recorded delivery - which I wish I hadnīt signed for - but it was a solicitors letter from ex. Basically a solicitor stating they were acting on behalf of my ex stating that I had to contact them to arrange suitable contact visits between my son and his father - and that it was detrimental to my sonīs life from not allowing his father to be part of it - and that they advise me that I should reach an agreement out of court - but if I refuse they will begin court proceedings in order for a judge to decide contact.
Firstly I donīt know how he got my address - and iīm now scared that because iīve signed for this letter then the solicitor will definitely know I live here - and what happens if my sons father comes round to carry out any of his threats - or worse send someone I donīt know to do it. And secondly I donīt know how the foreign office have suddenly decided that he is fit to come into the country. How can his solictitor believe that it is beneficial to have someone in my sonīs life who has hit his mother on several ocassions and threatened to kill her.
I havenīt responded to the letter - iīve sent it on to my solicitor but canīt speak to her until tomorrow morning. She has told me in the past to NEVER speak to anyone - and always send her anything. I couldnīt sleep last night - and I feel sick with nerves. I always thought in the back of my mind that heīd just go away - but now iīve had this letter - itīs like a horrible nightmare. What if a judge says heīs allowed to see him? Does anyone have any experience of an Egyptian national coming here to fight for custody? I just think heīs using the legal side to cover up his real intentions to snatch my son as heīs threatened in the past to do. I mean if we do go to court and he is not given any access heīs hardly going to sit back and take it! Can anyone give me any advice please?

Responses

From shereen / Posted: 20/08/2008
Dear British mum (sorry no name),

I feel for you deeply. My father who is egyptian took us on a holiday when my sister and I were 18 and 16 - we spent the next 9 years together with my mother fighting to get out.

If you would like my email- please request it from reunite. My mother got custody of us in the UK but sadly that was after we had left and even if it was before as soon as a child who has Egyptian nationality touches Egyptian soil no one can help.

I hope I can provide some help even support- please feel free to contact me.

My best wishes at what must be an unbearably worrying time.

xx shereen
From Maria / Posted: 22/08/2008
Dear Brittish Mum,

I am located in another European country and have a very similar experience of the one you are explaining. He sued me in court after having threatened me. The system alows it and they use the system. I have 2 years of court experience and if I can do anything to help in advice I will. I have reached out to about all authorities there are and there are some that have the competence and can offer some help on European level. You need hard evidence in court on consequenses, statement from a professional mediator and expert testimony by an expert on int child abduction. Reunite advice line is very good. If you would like to get in touch ask reunite for my email address.
From British_mum / Posted: 23/08/2008
Hi Shereen - i´ve often seen you post (in the old forum as well) and thought you might be someone who could advise me. I´ve asked reunite for your email address but haven´t heard back from them yet. I didn´t want to post my real name in fear he or his solicitor would read my post.........it´s such a long a complicated story - I think only someone who has been through something similar would understand. I really think he is trying the "legal" route he is in order to do something far worse.
I do have a fabulous solicitor working for me - but I just have a horrible gut feeling that it won´t help as if he gets my son into Egypt I will never see him again! Did you father live here in the UK before he took you to Egypt? My ex actually lives in Egypt (I met him while I lived there too) so he doesn´t have a legal right to be in the UK - but I´ve been told he´d be able to get documentation for my son i Egypt and take him out of the country under that false documentation?
Any advice you can give would be really appreciated - maybe request my details from Reunite too?
From British_mum / Posted: 26/08/2008
Hi Maria, have you been to court then re: a contact order - and did your ex gain access to your child? Does it really last two years? Itīs hard enough being a single mum without the constant worry of court cases and on top of that the threat of abduction hanging over me. When you say hard evidence in court on consequences - what do you mean? I have text messages where he threatened to kill me in return of his baby - but a lot of it is going to be my word against his..........my lawyer is an expert in child abduction - Iīm really confused about how to ask reunite for others details to pm them - I thought iīd requested Shereenīs details from them - but have had no reply. Maybe you can ask for mine as well - Iīve not slept for weeks with this hanging over me - itīs like an endless nightmare!
From maria / Posted: 28/08/2008
Dear Brittish Mum,

I understand the enormous pressure you are living because I have lived and is living it myself. Being a new born mother with all the joy and having to live with fear at this vulnerable and sensitive period is psychological abuse of both mother and baby. Do not count on the system having any merci with you or your baby. The system is designed to give access for the biological father to the child no matter what, allmost. The system allowes it, they use it. the system is not designed for protecting children in cross cultural, international custody battles. Yes, the first level court in my country ruled unsupervised access for an individual without residence permit. I have not complied and have been fined (until now) 10,000Ģ for not handing my child over for abduction. My economy is ruined by lawyer fees, extra costs for moving to new localtion, not able to work etc.
I belive UK courts and lawyers have more experience and knowledge but you can not count on it. Aim for indirect visitation via web cam, phone, letters or supervised visitation in a prfessional visitation center that guarantees the safety and wellbeing of your baby.
The US State department has useful information on preventing child abduction. There is country specific information on Egypt with consequenses. Link: http://travel.state.gov/family/abduction/abduction_580.html.
NCMEC, National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has a guide for prevention published on their site. Link: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/ResourceServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=467
The HCCH, Hague convention permanent forum, has in collaboration with member countries developed guides for good practice including preventive measures. Link: http://www.hcch.net/index_en.php?act=publications.details&pid=3639
HCCH research on bialteral conventions with Islamic countries in practice.
Link: http://www.hcch.net/index_en.php?act=publications.details&pid=2255&zoek=islamic
Try to be ice cold, they will not take you serious if you are hysterical.
Secure all text messages and other hard evidence.
Write a diary cronologically on each and every incident with the father.
Try to be strong for your childs sake.
Warm regards

From shereen / Posted: 02/09/2008
Dear British Mum,

I would be more than happy to advise you / support u in any way I can via email or phone. I will email reuinte now and request your details.

My thoughts are with you more than u know.

x shereen
From shereen / Posted: 02/09/2008
Dear British Mum,

Forgot to add- he would not need false documentation- he would only need a passport for your son which he can do in less than a day from Egypt if he has the correct contacts .....although things are becoming harder now and he should need a birth certificate but anything is possible depending on who he is and who he knows. He could come into the UK on a tourist visa for anything up to 3months I think it is.

my advise would be keep your whereabouts secret!!
From British_mum / Posted: 07/09/2008
Thank you for all your comments and Shereen I hope Reunite release one of our addresses to either of us! Maria, your words really scare me - would the British legal system really favour a foreign father who has made threats on my life? It defies belief! I live each day thinking that even supervised contact visits from his biological father would be detrimental to my son. I think his father has a very twisted mind and I believe would make every attempt to brainwash my son. My solicitor seems to think that we are going to oppose any contact whatsoever - but weīre playing a waiting game now. She responded to his solicitors letter nearly three weeks ago - and they have yet to reply.

I hate everything about the situation - the waiting, the not knowing, the looking over my shoulder all the time.............sometimes I wish I could just run away to the other side of the world - where noone would find us!!
From shereen / Posted: 11/09/2008
Hey British Mum,

Just been on phone to reunite they will give you my email add today.

xxx Hope u r hanging in there
From naeema / Posted: 12/09/2008
I really feel for you british Mum.I understand that feeling when you just want a closure to all the anxiety and fears. I suggest you do your best to protect your child and yourself and make sure you keep records of all the threats and write down the incidents of violence aswell. I am sure it will all come to an end and i hope the result is best for you and your child. It took two years for me to get full custody of the children. I still have issues with the children and the extended family but for the moment thanks to the Almighty my girls are safe with me. I wish you all the luck and I will pray for you.
From Norma / Posted: 05/03/2009
Hi Hope youīre OK. I worry about all the parents and children I read about on this forum, and long for updates. I hope you and everyone will speak to Reunite advisors as well as using the forum. You must get all the support and all the information you can. Iīve been through this as a mother and as a grandmother - I feel for all of you.
From julie / Posted: 25/02/2011
was very disturbing to read what some of you are going through and i know its not nice when your having to look over your shoulder as my ex is turkish and english laws have no understanding of international law british mum did you ever involve the police of his threats and if so can you not get the backing from them ? i will hold you in my prayers and hope all turned out ok for you i wish you look x
From Perin Mehmet / Posted: 31/08/2013
Hello Iīm am going through the same situation my ex husband is Egyptian and we are going to court as he wants contact with my son. He does not have a visa for the uk but wants a contact order to apply for uk visa. I know he will take my son away from me as he was very violent and abusive towards me my final court hearing is in October and I am worried sick that they will give him contact which will be the worse mistake ever.

Post a response

Please fill in the following numbers into the provided box.