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This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

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What would YOU do??

by Rita / Posted 05/07/2013 / Updated 23/09/2013

My brothers ex wife refuses to let him have ANY contact with his children, who now live in France with her new partner. She says that they donīt want anything to do with him anymore, but as they havenīt actually spoken, we believe the children are being brainwashed. They are 9 and almost 12. He has even got them an ipods/phone so they can email and contact him, but she confiscated them. He has applied through ICACU to re-instate contact, but long slow process. I worry about my brothers mental health, he is beginning to believe the kids donīt want to see him/will forget him etc and we donīt understand how a 12 year old would not find other ways to contact him... Do we carry on through the courts, or do we give up? This is the 2nd summer that they will not have visited. The kids are always happy when they have visited, even upset when they have to leave. Last contact was few minute phone call on Fathers Day but apart from that, nothing since Easter. Any help, experience of French authorities please? Would you give up now?


From Carrie Ward / Posted: 12/07/2013
Never give up on your children, thatīs what she wants you to do. Keep strong :) x
From Phil / Posted: 19/07/2013
As somone who is in a very similar situation I advise not to let time go by .For me it has been 6 years of hell.Through foreign courts and foreign social services.It becomes an obsession but one which you must do .I have had very limited success my ex wife is in her country I am in mine and she simply flouts the law whereas I try to everything within the law.It is expensive to hire lawyers who are often simply after money for doing very little .
Your brother needs to hire a French lawyer if he can not afford this then he needs to contact social services in the area where the kids are and tell them that he has concerns for their welfare.I did this with some success my ex wife was hauled before a social services panel and asked to explain,but because the child is well cared for nothing further happend ,but it was a start.Be prepared for a very long hard fight but you must have belief .For me I hope that I ca again focus on the fight ahead.
Finally never involve the child in the parental squabble ........far easier said than done!
Good luck.
From Rita / Posted: 23/09/2013
After a second summer of no contact, the latest from my brothers ex wife is that the children are mentally tortured and that she has never stopped contact... Only paused it for the protection of their sanity! She allowed a 1&1/2 hour dinner contact last week (in Paris) after which the girls were very upset (probably because they hadnt seen their Dad for 6months) and she now says she doesn´t think he should see them alone and only in some sort of contact centre! She has got the older one so brain washed that she no longer knows what was real and not! I don´t understand how a mother can traumatise her own child this way. My brother doesn´t want to give up, but what next? Accusations of physical/sexual abuse?! I have teenage boys who love their cousins, but am afraid of what this woman will stoop to! BTW application through ICACU has proved very slow, not sure that it will actually achieve anything... Can anyone give us hope?

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