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Relocation Orders

by Jane / Posted 05/09/2008 / Updated 06/04/2010

Can anyone give advice on how to obtain an order to allow me to relocate with me children to another country?
My soon to be ex husband has said that he will not allow me to take my kids back to the US and Im scared that if I take them, hell apply to have them returned under the Hague Convention.
Ive suffered years of physical and mental abuse and I want to take my kids back home to where I know I can offer them a better life and have the support of my family.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Responses

From Phil / Posted: 15/09/2008
Hi Jane.
This is really a difficult subject and that is why I believe nobody has yet commented.
However I will atempt to do so although you may not like what I have to say.
I am in exactly the same position which your husband would be in if you were to return to the USA. i.e.my wife has returned to Spain with our seven year old daughter,as she left to join another man who lives in Spain I have not seen my daughter for a year,and it has almost killed me.
I am in court in Spain (I am English) next month to try and sort out matters as part of the divorce.
I needed to tell you this so that you can get an idea of my own situation.
As for you ,what I suggest is that you talk openly and honestly with your husband and seek help to do this if necessary.
The children belong to BOTH of you and believe me a father can feel very maternal towards his children,it is not the sole right of the mother to only have such feelings although I accept that their´s will be different.
There has to be negotiation and compromise forthcoming from BOTH of you.
I know that it easy to say but the solution would be to make it better again with your husband;personally I tried and tried again to do this but my wife was not interested and sadly it is now easy for me to see that she used and manipulated me to her own advantage.
Please do not do this with your husband as it breeds nothing but frustration and further problems.
There is no way out of the visious circle which envelopes you both at such times;this is why you need to communicate with each other,and ask the questions which are hard to answer;where did it all go wrong,why,can we correct it??
If you do make it to the USA with your children,please allow your husband regular and free access whenever he can manage to visit,do not do as my wife did last Christmas,allow me to book and pay for air tickets to pick up and bring my daughter to UK for Christmas and then say 8 days beforehand that the child will not be coming as she does not want to!
Finally be as friendly with each other as you can ,unfortunately my wife and I are not (due more to her than me)and it has made things even more difficult than they should be.
Phil.
Ps.Just out of interest where in the states are you wanting to go?
From Jane / Posted: 16/09/2008
Hello Jane Have you tried the Reunite advice line? I would think they would be able to give you all the information you need and offer support along the way. Good luck.
From lisa / Posted: 13/01/2010
Phil did you abuse your wife???
From Phil / Posted: 06/04/2010
Message to Lisa.
In answer to your question ´No ´ I did not abuse my wife.
Did we argue ;yes.
Most of which were incidently caused on purpose by my ex as an excuse to leave.
But why have you raised such a question?

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