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Egyptian partner piling on the pressure.

by worried mum / Posted 16/12/2008 / Updated 18/10/2011

Hi all, I would be grateful for any advice anybody can give me. I met my egyptian partner in the UK 4 years ago, we have a son who has just turned 3 and are expecting a baby in the new year. My partner goes to Egypt regularly to visit family and having returned in October following a 6 week stay he has begun to pressure me into naming him as the the father on my sons birth certificate as currently there is only myself named, he is also pressuring me into marrying him. I have asked him why all of this has suddenly become so important and his response was that until he is named as the father he does not feel like a proper dad and that he wants to marry due to fact that a muslim man should not live with a woman unmarried, the thing that concerns me is that he has been happy to live in this situation up until now and he is by no means a strict muslim as he does not pray whilst here in the UK and drinks alcohol etc. I have been given a deadline of Christmas to put my son in his name or else he is apparently leaving but I do not think he will do this without a fight as he has previously mentioned court proceedings etc. I really do not know what to do and at 8 months pregnant am finding myself increasingly stressed out by the situation. Thanks in advance.

Responses

From a mum / Posted: 21/12/2008
Please do not give in under pressure. If he trully loves and care for you he´ll not amount this pressure especially at this time. Listen to your instincts and keep him off the birth certificates. Once he is on there he can obtain passports for the children and you will loose them eventually.He is cleary being encourage by his family to do so . please, please stay strong as you said WHY NOW IF HE WAS HAPPY UNTIL PRESENT OR UNTIL HIS EXTENDED TRIP( WHO CARED FOR YOU AND THE SON IN ALL THAT TIME BY THE WAY?) take care xx protect yourself so you do not regret later in years to come!!
From shereen / Posted: 21/12/2008
Dear worried mum,

Please ask reunite for my email address we can have a chat.

x shereen
From M Palmer / Posted: 23/12/2008
Please do not put his name on the birth certificate, if he kidnaps your son you will never see him again. It happened to me. My Lebanese husband took my 4 children from England and I didnīt see them for 13 years, it is too late they all have a middle eastern mentality.
Do not make the mistake of trusting him.
From Awatif el-Martaoui / Posted: 28/12/2008
Hi, sorry to hear about the difficulties that u have, but I was in similar situation, and my partner did the same except I finally agreed to do an islamic marriage in syria, and thatīs when my problems started, even by doing that he managed to abduct my son to syria and now I regret the day I agreed to his wishes. anyway if u donīt want a civil marriage , u can do an islamic marriage in the uk mosque.if that is any help it would be just a paper to make ur partner happy for a while. and also donīt get foulled to do any marriage in egypt. and donīt worry about the court proceeding here in the uk, they will be on ur side what ever the situation is especially if ur british. and on top of that he doesnīt have any custody rights. the other thing about birth certificate u can have his name on the certificate even if ur not married in the UK , I did it but the father has to be present when u do the registration of child birth. think about it , it wouldnīt make any difference or give him any power over u the opposite the children will benefit from that. sorry I had to tell u because I donīt want u to loose ur children like I did then again I might be wrong I canīt judge!!!!. ask for legal advice a solicitor might be helpfull.may I ask u something peronal. what is the state of ur partnerīs visa in the UK? wish u all the luck :-)
From shereen / Posted: 05/01/2009
DearWorried Mum,

Needed to make a correction to Awatif´s statement- any marraige in a UK mosque is legalised and enforced in Egypt- -It is a ´real´ marraige.

All the best and again if you would like my email add pls just ask

xx
From Norma / Posted: 05/03/2009
Hi - Hope you and the baby are well - please update us. You must plan for the worse and take all precautions. Don´t put his name on the birth certificate and don´t have any sort of marriage. Listen to Shereen - she knows.
From Arianna hathway / Posted: 18/10/2011
if as u say your b/f concerns are religous say fine and do an islamic marriage , its not legally binding but in islam its a proper marriage , as for the birth crtificate simply say u want both kids treated equally and as he is not on the first childs certificate it would be unfair to put it on the second ones , trust your instincts they are rarely wrong

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