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This forum offers parents the opportunity to voice their own experiences of international parental child abduction, and related issues, and to share useful information with others in a similar situation.

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Brithish Mum/Turkish Dad

by Andrea / Posted 30/12/2008 / Updated 18/09/2014

My friend has had a baby with a turkish guy who has lied to her, tried to get her to have an abortion, saw her once a week after the baby was born and then ended the relationship as his turkish wife and kids were coming over to England. he has just sent a Xmas card with money in it to my friend saying he now wants to see the baby. She doesn´t want the child to have a dad who disappears when he feels like it, or who, as a worst case scenario, may try to abduct the child and take her back to Turkey. His name IS on the birth cert. Can anyone advise what her rights are and can he force her to allow access to the child?

Responses

From Lord Protector / Posted: 23/01/2009
Get in touch with Reunite and speak to them first!
Other things to do are contact a lawyer and get court orders in place to prevent the child being taken out of the UK. The rubbish dad sounds like he´ll abduct the kid. Even if things turn embarassing, I think it´s better to be embarrassed for a while than lose you kid forever or for a very long time. If he really wanted to be responsible, he would not have treated your friend the way he did. Sorry but I have no time for such a ´parent´ who suddenly does a u-turn and thinks he wants to see the child. DO NOT LET HIM TAKE THE CHILD!
I am a Dad who is facing a similar setup and I say this because I KNOW he will not return that baby. The children must always come first. Anything else (feelings, embarassment whatever else) comes a very distant second. Your child will thank you for it.
I wish you well.
From julie / Posted: 04/11/2009
sounds familiar my ex wanted me to have an abortion too. then a week before i gave birth he asked me to meet up begged me to put him in his name as his dad wouldnt accept him otherwise . he was turkish too. he came back in our lives for a couple of years. but for personal reasons is no longer allowed to see him . i would stand her ground and take all the steps to protect her child .
From lisa / Posted: 13/01/2010
julie/// why is he not allowed to see him??? as my husband is violent and i am scared that he will get unsupervised visits and will abduct the child
From julie / Posted: 08/10/2011
its hard for me to say on here but i will say he is a danger to my kids. Please do everything to protect your child i think reunite should set up meetings for us all to get together and share experiences and concerns
From Sarah / Posted: 18/09/2014
Please help!!
I was I court yesterday and I´ve been told that if my turkish husband wants to make an application to the court to take our 3 children then he can do so.
We have been together 14 years throughout this time he has cheated, been violent in front of our children and been very controlling,
The police, the courts and cafcass all seem to be on his side.. They seem happy for him to take the children on a so called ´holiday´ Cafcass have told me that they won´t listen to what our children want as it is not upto them to make the decisions... I just don´t know which way to turn. I am beside myself with worry.
Any further advice would be great.

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