Lucy’s Story – Abducted as a child

When people used to tell me life isn’t fair I used to get really upset. No, life isn’t fair but no one has had to lose everything not once but twice, like I have. By the time I was 8 I knew how it felt to be alone, unwanted and a disappointment. I felt completely isolated; I’d lost the one person that was supposed to be there for me. My mum. Of course I wasn’t told what really happened. The person I used to call my Nan to just said “Well she wanted to go to a party so she left you”. Little did I know, she was the reason this had happened. It was her idea. As a young girl I wanted to know what I’d done wrong for my mum, of all people, to just get up and leave. I used to write her letters and just cry to the point all the ink smudged, then I ripped them up and flushed them down the toilet because I didn’t want anyone to see how much I really needed my mum. I didn’t want to seem weak in the lion’s den.

When I was 14 I met my mum again and I have never felt so much hatred in my life. It was like my insides were boiling. Although, that was the moment I found out my entire life was a lie. To this day I can remember one of my teachers telling me I was lucky, because both my parents wanted me. Little did he know the things that I’d seen and been told during those years. But I didn’t know what to believe. I still have never been as confused as I was then.

What I didn’t realize was coming home was almost as hard as being away. Coming back and seeing how much my family had grown, it felt like they’d moved on without me and I was just a stranger. I didn’t feel welcome to begin with and it took a bit of time before I felt like I was part of the family again. If I’m being completely honest I still have moments where I feel out of place. But I think that is how it will always be because I’ve never had a place anywhere, and that’s just how life is now. A constant worry that I’m unwelcome.